How to Support Someone Who Has POTS: A Complete Guide for Partners, Parents, Friends & Caregivers
Living with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) changes every part of a person’s life — and that means it also affects the people who love them. Partners, parents, friends, coworkers, and caregivers often find themselves wanting to help but feeling unsure how. POTS is invisible, unpredictable, and misunderstood, which makes support both incredibly important and surprisingly complicated.
If someone you care about has POTS, this guide is designed to help you understand:
What they’re feeling
What they wish others knew
What helps during flares
What hurts (even unintentionally)
How to be truly supportive in daily life
How to maintain healthy communication
How to build a relationship that honors BOTH of your needs
Your support has the power to change their quality of life in ways you might not even realize. For many people with POTS, having just one person who understands can be the difference between feeling alone… and feeling hopeful.
This guide will give you the tools to be that person.
1. First: What POTS Actually Feels Like (In Their Words)
You can’t help someone with POTS until you understand the lived experience — and POTS rarely looks the same from the outside as it feels on the inside.
Here’s what your loved one is navigating daily:
• A heart that races when they stand
Even simple tasks like getting out of bed, cooking, or showering can send their heart rate skyrocketing.
• Sudden waves of dizziness or faintness
They may need to sit down quickly — sometimes without warning.
• Extreme fatigue that isn’t solved by rest
This fatigue is whole-body, all-consuming, and unpredictable.
• Brain fog that makes thinking feel slow or impossible
They may struggle to follow conversations, remember plans, or make decisions during flares.
• Sensory overload
Bright lights, noise, heat, or stress can overwhelm their nervous system.
• Digestive issues
Nausea, bloating, and food sensitivities are extremely common.
• Temperature dysregulation
They may overheat, sweat excessively, or feel freezing in warm rooms.
• Adrenaline surges
These can feel like panic attacks even when the person is not anxious.
• Feeling disconnected from their body
Many people describe feeling “floaty” or “far away.”
Remember:
They are not exaggerating. They are not being dramatic. They are not being lazy.
They are dealing with a physiologically overwhelming condition every single day.
2. What People With POTS Wish Their Loved Ones Understood
Most people with POTS don’t want to burden others. They may hide symptoms, downplay their pain, or push themselves harder than they should.
Here is what they often wish they could say:
“I’m not unreliable. I’m unpredictable.”
They may cancel plans last-minute or struggle to commit — not because they don’t care, but because symptoms fluctuate hour to hour.
“I’m doing my absolute best.”
Even on “easy days,” their body is working harder than yours.
“I’m not anxious — my body just acts like it is.”
Adrenaline surges feel like anxiety attacks even when they are mentally calm.
“I hate asking for help.”
So if they do ask, it means they genuinely need it.
“I still want to be included.”
Even if they can’t always participate, invitations mean the world.
“My symptoms are real — even when you can’t see them.”
Invisible illnesses often feel invalidated. Your belief in them matters more than you know.
3. How to Really Support Someone With POTS (The Things That Truly Help)
A. Ask What Their POTS Looks Like
Everyone’s symptoms are different.
Ask them:
What triggers your flares?
What symptoms do you struggle with most?
What helps you feel better?
How can I support you on your bad days?
This shows you care — and helps you understand them better.
B. Believe Them First, Question Later
People with POTS are often dismissed by doctors, teachers, and even family for years.
Your belief:
Builds trust
Reduces shame
Helps them feel safe
Supports their mental health
One of the most supportive things you can say is:
“I believe you.”
C. Make Plans That Are Flexible, Not Forced
Rigid plans can create pressure and guilt.
Instead, try:
✔ “Let’s plan this, and if you’re not feeling up for it, we can reschedule.”
✔ “We can do something low-key if that’s easier.”
✔ “If today isn’t a good day, no worries — we’ll figure it out.”
This removes shame from needing to cancel.
D. Help Reduce Their Physical Burden
Small acts of support can significantly reduce their symptom load:
Carry groceries
Help with errands
Do high-energy tasks like vacuuming
Prepping meals together
Reaching things high or low
These tasks can trigger tachycardia and dizziness — your help saves them energy for the things they enjoy.
E. Learn Their Flare-Up Signs
Many people with POTS try to push through symptoms until it becomes an emergency.
Early flare signs include:
Pale or flushed skin
Slowed speech
Brain fog
Heavy legs
Shakiness
Sudden fatigue
Feeling faint
When you notice these signs, gently say:
“Do you want to sit down for a minute?”
F. Support Their Hydration + Salt Needs (Without Judgment)
Many POTS patients require:
Large fluid intake
Electrolytes
High salt diets
Compression wear
These are medical needs, not preferences.
Support looks like:
Keeping water available
Not joking about “too much salt”
Helping them remember electrolytes
Understanding they may need to rest after meals
G. Understand That Heat Is Their Enemy
Heat intolerance can trigger instant symptoms.
Support them by:
Parking closer
Choosing cooler environments
Offering shade or AC breaks
Bringing cooling towels or cold water
This is not “being dramatic” — this is physiology.
4. What Not to Say to Someone With POTS
Even well-meaning comments can be hurtful or dismissive.
Avoid:
❌ “You just need to push through it.”
❌ “But you don’t look sick.”
❌ “Maybe it’s just anxiety.”
❌ “Are you sure it’s not in your head?”
❌ “You’re always tired.”
❌ “You were fine yesterday.”
Replace them with:
✔ “How can I help?”
✔ “I know you’re doing your best.”
✔ “Take your time — we’re not in a rush.”
✔ “I believe you.”
✔ “Your health comes first.”
5. Supporting Someone With POTS Emotionally
POTS isn’t just physical — it’s emotionally taxing.
People with POTS often feel:
Guilty
Frustrated
Lonely
Overwhelmed
Misunderstood
Here’s how you can help:
A. Validate Their Experience
Say things like:
“That sounds really hard.”
“You don’t deserve to feel this way.”
“I’m here for you.”
B. Encourage Without Pressure
Support their goals, but never push.
C. Don’t Take Cancellations Personally
Cancellations are about symptoms — not about you.
D. Offer Comfort Without Fixing
They don’t need solutions every time.
Sometimes they just need someone who listens.
6. Supporting Someone With POTS in Relationships (Partner Edition)
If you’re romantically involved with someone with POTS, you play a special role in their life and daily routines.
Here’s how to support them deeply and sustainably:
A. Learn Their Energy Limits
Some days they can do more.
Some days they can barely stand.
B. Be Patient With Their “Slow Mornings”
Mornings are often the hardest due to low blood volume.
C. Help With High-Heart-Rate Tasks
Examples:
Carrying laundry
Cooking in hot kitchens
Cleaning
Chasing kids
D. Keep Communication Open
Ask weekly:
“What helped you this week?”
“What drained you this week?”
“How can I support you better?”
7. How Parents Can Support a Child or Teen With POTS
Teens with POTS face unique challenges:
School fatigue
Brain fog during classes
Feeling different from peers
Anxiety about symptoms in public
Parents can help by:
Communicating with teachers
Establishing morning routines
Advocating for accommodations
Offering emotional reassurance
Protecting rest time
Encouraging supportive physical activity
8. How to Support a Coworker or Employee With POTS
If someone at work has POTS, support might include:
Flexible schedules
Standing and sitting options
Access to water and salty snacks
Temperature control
Work-from-home options during bad weeks
Understanding sudden breaks or pauses
This not only helps them — it boosts productivity.
9. What to Do During a POTS Flare (A Practical Guide)
If you’re present during a flare:
✔ Stay calm
Your calm helps regulate their nervous system.
✔ Help them sit or lie down
The goal is to restore blood flow to the brain.
✔ Offer water or electrolytes
✔ Help loosen tight clothing
✔ Reduce stimulation
Lower lights, turn down noise, give them quiet.
✔ Give them space if they need it
But stay nearby for safety.
✔ Ask: “What do you need right now?”
Knowing how to help can prevent fainting, panic, or worsening symptoms.
10. The Most Powerful Way to Support Someone With POTS
This is the part most loved ones don’t realize:
Your understanding is medicine.
When someone with POTS feels:
believed
safe
supported
not judged
not a burden
not alone
their nervous system stabilizes — reducing symptoms, flares, and stress.
Support truly changes their health.
You Don’t Have to Be Perfect — Just Present
Supporting someone with POTS doesn’t require medical training.
You don’t have to know everything.
You don’t have to say the perfect thing.
You don’t have to “fix” the condition.
You simply have to:
listen
learn
be compassionate
be flexible
show up
Your presence matters more than you realize.
If you are reading this, it means you care — and that alone makes you an enormous source of strength in their life.
Let’s make managing POTS feel simpler, calmer, and more possible — together.